I'm Just. Tired.
Hey people. I'll be straight with you- real with you. This is not going to be one of those posts that is full of encouragement and words of wisdom, because honestly I just don't have it in me today. I'm tired. Plain and simple. There are just some days that no matter how much you put your mind to it, and no matter how many times you try to remind yourself that you can do it all, you're only human. I'm only human. I come home some days and just fall face-down on my bed and lay there because nothing feels better than getting off my feet and closing my eyes, forgetting the stress of the day. I'm hoping I'm not the only one- maybe this little message is one that can be encouraging for you to know you're not the only one. But seriously...I can smile all I want, I can tell anyone around me that I'm fine. I've learned to fool a lot of people because really, we all know that the average person that says "Hi, how are you?" is not prepared for your entire story and everything that is in your head. But I wonder what would happen if they were prepared. What an awesome world that could be.
Now I'm just thinking, and typing the thoughts that pop into my head. When you feel like this, there are a couple of options. You can sit and wallow in all of the things that overwhelm you...let your mind race and pull your hair out. Or, you can accept the fact that you are human. You were only created to handle so much, and remember that this craziness will pass. You can stop. You can breathe. You're also free to freak out a little bit. (I think that's acceptable as a normal and absolutely necessary thing sometimes). That's a huge weight off when I remember that it's okay to not have everything under control.
You know what's hilarious, guys? The fact that I'm just typing. I'm not really going back and editing any of this. I started by saying that I didn't have the energy to be encouraging...and I really don't think I did/do. But I guess I sort of encouraged myself by reminding myself that it's okay to be a mess sometimes, and it's normal to soak up all the glory of being face-down on my bed and not moving a muscle. I want to go do that right now, actually. There is SO much to do though. SO much to plan and so much to figure out. But maybe it's just not supposed to get done today. I think I'm okay with that.
It really doesn't even makes sense that I had the energy to type this out to you at almost 11:00 at night. Makes no sense. But I do have a secret to how I have these waves of energy and motivation that make no humanly logical sense. I'll chat with you about it sometime. Reach out if you want. I'll answer tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to go and not move, and not think.