Hey again! I hope you're all enjoying the crisp fall days now that we're more than halfway through October! We are officially in ENGAGEMENT SEASON! Which also means there are a good portion of you ladies out there who are flippin' excited but also incredibly overwhelmed with making wedding planning decisions. On top of all that, your relationship is on a whole new level now that you've never been on before, and you're probably always asking yourself "so...what is this actually supposed to look like right now?"
Now, I can't pretend that I'm old and wise and full of expert advice- because I'm only in my mid-twenties, and Scott and I are only in our third year of marriage. But if you want a few bits of simple advice from what I learned from looking back on the year that I was engaged, then keep on reading!
1. BREATHE. I know it sounds cliche, but I'm serious. On a few accounts, you need to take the time to breathe. You are a bundle full of emotions right now. (I mean, seriously- the man of your dreams just asked you to be with him and only him forever... he asked you to be his wife, and to live with him and maybe one day have his babies, and to grow old with him) That's HUGE! So yes, it's natural to feel overwhelmed when all of those things hit you at once. So when I tell you to breathe, what I mean is- take it one day at a time. Today, you are just hanging out with your favorite person in the whole world and you're planning a very special day together. You don't have to think about the fact that one day you might buy a house or have kids. You don't have to think about growing old yet. Just be right here, right now. and ENJOY IT! You are made to have just the right amount of strength and brain power to handle the things that are right in front of you TODAY- not next year or next month or even just tomorrow. So soak up that joy!
2. Make his feelings and opinions a priority too. Yes, miss bride-to-be it's going to be your big day! The joke is always "the bride makes the final decisions" and "happy wife, happy life" and we all chuckle about that. But stop for a second- think about what you're really about to do. You are planning for the big day where you and your fiance will stand in front of all of your friends and family and will promise to put each other's needs before your own. You will be promising to love and cherish and unselfishly look out for each other through this crazy adventure of life. So, why not start practicing that kind of consideration for each other now? Listen to him when he tells you what kind of music he wants the DJ to play. Ask him what HIS favorite flavor of cake is when you're taste-testing. Or in Scott and my case, let him have a little more say in what color suit and tie he will wear for the wedding. In the long run, all of these details really do not matter at all...but what does matter is how you love and serve each other, even if the other person isn't loving or serving you as well as you'd like. You can only control YOU. And you love this man :)
3. Keep dating each other! It is so very easy to get all wrapped up in the wedding planning and all of the deadlines, budgets, emotions, family, frustrations and everything else. We forget to keep dating. Obviously when you're engaged, you stop saying "he's the guy I'm dating" and it switches to "he's the guy I'm marrying soon". But even after you're married it's still so important to go on dates and do silly little things that make memories. Be intentional about planning out times to go out to dinner or for a nice walk around the park. Schedule in time to talk about things that have nothing to do with wedding planning- Your date time or talking time should have a rule that neither of you talks about wedding decisions or plans, and just focus on having fun together. Scott and I found out about a small business that sends you a date in a box every month and it has been such an awesome thing for us to build memories together. Feel free to call/email me if you want us to send you the info on it!
Long story-short, hang in there, and be intentional about your time and how you spend it. Engagement is such a magical time and way too many of us miss out on some beautiful moments because we let stress take over. Remember Scott and I are here for you always, even if you're not getting a wedding video ;) xoxo